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Queen Helter of Skelter


I am amazingness incarnate. I exist only to rule the Kingdom of Spectaculosity and to make the world a totally magnificent place. Basking in the glow of my sheer fabulousness has been known to cause random implosions, nosebleeds and fainting. Do not bask on an empty stomach or while operating heavy machinery.

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To find a list of all my OuaT stories, just click here:

OUAT MASTERPOST

To find a list of all my Fallout stories, just click here:

FALLOUT MASTERPOST

To find a list of all my Maleficent stories, just click here:

MALEFICENT MASTERPOST

To find a list of my publications, click here:

STORIES BY CRYSTAL LYNN HILBERT

To read my (free!) novellas:

DEAD ON ARRIVAL

THE TRICKSTER EDDA

Ask me anything

forsmithsandgiggles:

lewdmangabey:

maybe i’m a goddamn bleeding heart hippie liberal but i’m totally down with paying an extra .50 cents for a thing of fries if the person who makes me those fries doesn’t have to work 3 jobs just to survive.

most studies show that prices would only have to go up by 1 to 3 cents in order to raise employee wages significantly

or, you know, the ceo’s could take pay cuts but that would be so hard for the poor multimillionaires

(via uselessgamer)

inksplattersandearlyhours:

I think one of the reasons the Harry Potter Epilogue was so poorly received was because the audience was primarily made up of the Millennial generation.

We’ve walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione, through a world that we thought was great but slowly revealed itself to be the opposite. We unpeeled the layers of corruption within the government, we saw cruelty against minorities grow in the past decades, and had media attack us and had teachers tell us that we ‘must not tell lies’. We got angry and frustrated and, like Harry, Ron and Hermione, had to think of a way to fight back. And them winning? That would have been enough to give us hope and leave us satisfied.

But instead. There was skip scene. And suddenly they were all over 30 and happy with their 2.5 children.

And the Millennials were left flailing in the dust.

Because while we recognised and empathised with everything up to that point. But seeing the Golden Trio financially stable and content and married? That was not something our generation could recognise. Because we have no idea if we’re ever going to be able to reach that stage. Not with the world we’re living in right now.

Having Harry, Ron and Hermione stare off into the distance after the battle and wonder about what the future might be would have stuck with us. Hell, have them move into a shitty flat together and try and sort out their lives would have. Have them with screaming nightmares and failed relationships and trying to get jobs in a society that’s falling apart would have. Have them still trying to fix things in that society would have. Because we known Voldemort was just a symptom of the disease of prejudice the Wizarding World.

But don’t push us off with an ‘all was well’. In a world about magic, JK Rowling finally broke our suspension of disbelief by having them all hit middle-class and middle-age contentment and expecting a fanbase of teenagers to accept it.

Also. Since when was ‘don’t worry kids, you’re going to turn out just like your parents’ ever a happy ending? Does our generation even recognise marriage and money and jobs as the fulfillment of life anymore? Does our generation even recognise the Epilogue’s Golden Trio anymore?

(via madmaudlingoes)

mothballmilkshake:

When I’m dating a man I’m no longer bisexual

Just like when I’m at home, I’m no longer employed

Or when I’m not studying I’m no longer a student.

Mmm object impermanency 

(via bemusedlybespectacled)

wiseyoungravenclaw:

Remus Arthur Potter, you were named after two men who looked out for my safety and cared about my well-being out of altruism and decency rather than because I was a tool for them to use or because I was someone’s son.

(via moniquill)

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

image

They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

image

update: she caught a squirrel today

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She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

(via nevillegonnagiveuup)