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Queen Helter of Skelter


I am amazingness incarnate. I exist only to rule the Kingdom of Spectaculosity and to make the world a totally magnificent place. Basking in the glow of my sheer fabulousness has been known to cause random implosions, nosebleeds and fainting. Do not bask on an empty stomach or while operating heavy machinery.

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To find a list of all my OuaT stories, just click here:

OUAT MASTERPOST

To find a list of all my Fallout stories, just click here:

FALLOUT MASTERPOST

To find a list of all my Maleficent stories, just click here:

MALEFICENT MASTERPOST

To find a list of my publications, click here:

STORIES BY CRYSTAL LYNN HILBERT

Ask me anything

shwetanarayan:

I think editors, like everyone else who’s got the power in a relationship, need to stop feeling entitled to trust and start earning it.

(via moniquill)

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This blog unfollows people who don’t cut their fucking posts
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(Source: spookyfxcker, via neverfaltered)

Finished reading the first three books in the Parasol Protectorate series. The writing was very good and I very much enjoyed the main character. But the truly stunning number of times the main character told her husband “no” or “stop” and he proceeded with his sexual advances anyway left a really foul taste in my mouth.

I am very disappointed. Her husband constantly overrides her clear lack of consent and the narrator plays it as a joke. The tone of the description is very, oh, she doesn’t really mean “no”  and so it’s meant to be funny. But the narration also describes in various places how much stronger he is than her and implies she has no means of physically stopping him.

Considering the number of sexual assaults and rapes that happen in the real world because “I know you want it” is considered a valid rebuttal to a firm “No!”? Very disheartening.

The author plays it for a laugh, but as a reader I’m watching a woman endure constant sexual assault at the hands of her husband and convincing herself she enjoys it because it’s her “wifely duty.”

No. That absolutely ruined an otherwise decent book.

john-egberts-floating-arms:

rick-sanchez:

camiekahle:

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

I’m fucking dying

(Source: mycroftly, via bloodydeath11)

I am perpetually surprised by how hard it is to find decent, quality research on ancient funerary rites and rituals.

The Wrong Window, part v || Modern AU

neverfaltered:

part [ i ] [ ii ] [ iii ] [ iv ]
Written in collaboration with bearholdingashark

He felt like he was walking on eggshells. Maybe on a tightrope lined with razors. It was a difficult game to play and he wasn’t even sure he was still playing. She didn’t call as much anymore and when he did come, she pointed out what he needed to fix and generally left him alone to do his work.

The best thing he could tell himself was that she would know he would always come when she called. 

She was more withdrawn, more moody and far more severe than he had ever seen her. He tried to get her to loosen up, even just for the short while he was there, but before he knew it two months had passed and she wasn’t relaxing at all. 

She wasn’t calling either.

So finally, he took matters in to his own hands.

Read More

Children of the Mind, part xii || Asylum AU

neverfaltered:

Concept post here.
Part [ i ] [ ii ] [ iii ] [ iv ] [ v ] [ vi ] [ vii ] [ viii ] [ ix ] [ x ] [ xi ]

She had felt despair before. She’d known loneliness in the most intimate of ways. But she’d never understood either one quite like she did now. She hadn’t even known him that long, hadn’t understood him for much time at all, but somehow she already missed his warmth at her side. She already missed falling asleep tucked safely against his chest. But he was a bird again and he was free of the human world just as he’d wished. 

Somehow that world, in which she had once been so sure of her place, seemed unfathomably large and infinitely frightening now that she had to face the prospect of returning alone. Staying in the forest seemed an impossibility without him to guide her through it. The druids meant well,but there was something about her plight only another grounded bird could truly understand. She had had it and she’d sent it away.

She’d saved his life, she knew. She didn’t regret that. But losing him would be something she was bitter of for the rest of her life. She knew it. Of that she was absolutely certain. And no matter how she looked, she knew she would never find him again. 

Read More

You always manage to break my heart, even when they’re happy.

dainesanddaffodils:

You watch movies like I do! (Also you’re super cute)

Oh youuu <3 

Yeah, I look way less cute during my emotional breakdowns. I’ve avoided that movie purposely in an attempt to keep from dissolving into a moist and heaving potato.

I’m still really pissed, but now I’m doing something about it, so I suppose that’s more productive.